Question by BanishedPrince ~SFECU~: I need some honest SERIOUS opinions about a Christian Romance “book” I’m writing.
Part II
Chapter 1
Emma woke up to the sound of her arm clock radio playing classical musical softly in her ear. She threw the blanket off her, rolled out of bed, and headed to the bathroom to brush her teeth. It was Sunday morning, the first day of revival. She crawled up on her bed, grabbed her Bible from the nightstand, and opened it to Psalms. She began reading Chapter 95.
1 O come, let us sing unto the Lord: let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation.
2 Let us come before his presence with thanksgiving, and make a joyful noise unto him with psalms.
3 For the Lord is a great God, and a great King above all gods.
4 In his hand are the deep places of the earth: the strength of the hills is his also.
5 The sea is his, and he made it: and his hands formed the dry land.
6 O come, let us worship and bow down: let us kneel before the Lord our Maker.
Worship. She reread the last verse and again that word stuck out to her. What is true worship? she asked herself. She walked over to the desk on the other side of the room and picked up the Thesaurus.
Worship-adoration, love, reverence, respect, devotion, adulation
She thought on this a minute and then read the entire chapter over again this time keeping the definition in mind. Just as she finished verse 6, a telephone ring interrupted her. “Hello”
“Good morning, beautiful.”
“Good morning” she echoed at the familiar sound of Jaslyn’s voice.
“What are you doing?”
Emma closed her Bible and sat it back on the nightstand. “I was just reading.”
“Oh sorry I hope I didn’t disturb you.” she replied in an apologetic tone.
“No that’s okay. To be very honest I am glad you called because I did not realize it was so late. I have to start getting ready.”
“Oh, well I won’t bother you too long, I was just wondering if you wanted to go out to eat after church today. Ryan is out of town this weekend and I did not want to have to eat by myself. I think Katie may be going too.”
Emma still found it hard to believe that her best friend and Ryan were dating much less engaged. Ryan and Jaslyn had grew up right alongside each other from the time they were old enough to attend the “Bethel Holiness Academy”. Secretly Jaslyn had yearned for him although no one except Emma knew it. Year after year passed and still her love was unrequited, until two years before. Jaslyn had followed in Emma’s example and also began to pray earnestly for him and for God’s will. After many prayers offered up on his behalf, he finally began to listen to God and realize just how wonderful Jaslyn really was.
“Sure I’ll go,” she answered happy herself to have someone to fellowship with. “I’ll see you at church.”
“Alright, love you, bye.” she quickly stated then hung up the receiver. Emma did the same and then crawled down onto the floor next to her bed and began praying.
As usual, Daniel Miller was one of the first names she called out. She often laughed at herself for doing so because the last time she had saw him was his graduation night four years ago, but yet somehow she seem to be able to pray for him most of the time more than she could pray for those that were actually in her life. The truth was that no matter what was happening in her life he was never far from her mind and at times when she felt weary in her praying she would always think back to that night; the night that she had touched him. Somehow, thinking of this always gave her the strength to carry on and now she could finally see that God had given her this burden for him not only for his salvation, but for hers as well.
~
Emma pulled up into the church parking lot just as the Pastor had dismissed for Sunday school. She quickly grabbed her things from the passenger seat, locked her car door and ran to join Jaslyn and Katie who were among the many people going to their Sunday school classes. “Hey” they both said in unison while Emma joined step with them. “Hey she replied back.
“So how has your morning been so far?” Katie asked while leaning slightly forward in order to see her on Jaslyn’s left side.
“It has been pretty good. And I have a feeling it’s going to get even better.”
~
“Class dismissed” the Sunday school teacher said at ten minutes till eleven. The 15 or 20 people in the young adult class all got to their feet and headed out the door back toward the sanctuary.
“That was a good lesson,” Jaslyn said when they were almost to the building.
“Ya, it was. But you know the weird thing? Just this morning I was studying that very same scripture.” Emma said while looking over at each of her friends trying to determine their reaction.
Katie thought about it for a minute then replied, “Maybe it’s weird to you, but maybe it’s just God’s way of telling you to worship.”
“That’s what I was just thinking about” Emma said entering church with a new determination to worship God more than ever.
They walked into church to find that it was full and a seat was hard to find. They finally located one three pews from the back and sat down with Katie on the inside, Jaslyn, and then Emma.
“Good morning” Pastor Thomas said with the always-present grin on his face. “I’m so glad to see each and every one of you on this fine morning. I would like to say welcome to all of our visitors. We are so glad to have you join us this morning to gather in the presence of the Almighty King. Please stand with me and let’s sing a song in this red-backed hymnal, turn to page 333.” The pianist began a catchy rhythm then shortly after the drums chimed in followed by the congregation and then a chorus of tambourines. Each individual sang loud and confident as if they could actually envision the words of the song as they sang. Emma sang along trying to truly comprehend the meaning of its words.
Some bright morning when this life is over I’ll fly away
To a home on God’s celestial shore I’ll fly away.
She lifted her hands and closed her eyes as she tried to worship God as she knew he should be worshipped. Free from every care with a mind open only to God. After singing the song two full times, they had just reached the end of the chorus when Jaslyn tapped her on the shoulder. She flashed her a bright smile then whispered in her ear, “Look at the front row on the left side of the church, the person standing closest to the wall.”
Emma leaned slightly to her right trying to see around everyone standing in front of her but no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t see the person Jaslyn was talking about. The Pastor told everyone they could be seated then called the ushers up to receive the offering. The church bowed their heads as Bro. Gene said prayer over the offering, but Emma couldn’t take her eyes off of the spot that her friend had indicated. If only Sis. Pearlie would move I could see them. And practically before she could even finish her thought the women leaned forward in order to grab her purse from the floor and Emma saw what Jaslyn had. Sitting on the front row of the church with his head bowed and his hands crossed in his lap was Daniel Miller.
Chapter
Emma sat motionless unable to move for what seemed like hours until she heard Bro. Gene’s booming “Amen” signaling the end of his prayer. She quickly looked away as the church lifted their heads and the ushers began passing around the offering plates. She chanced another look at him and found him watching the usher as he made his way down the aisle. Oh no, he will see me was the first thought that popped into her head. Desperate not to let that happen she did the only thing that she could think of at the time, she quickly got up and walked out trying her best to keep her composure until she was at least out of the building. She quickly but quietly closed the sanctuary door behind her and practically ran to the front entrance door of the church. She walked around the corner and sat down on a log that created the borders for the garden that ran alongside the church. She put her head in her hands and wept like she hadn’t wept in years. Jaslyn came out only minutes later and found her this way. “What in the world is wrong Emma?” she asked while down next to her. “Are you crying because he’s here?”
Emma lifted her head and wiped the tears from her cheeks then from her eyes that had already begun to swell from the crying.
“Are you?” she asked again.
Emma shyly shook her head and wiped the new tears that falling down her cheeks which seemed uncontrollable.
“Why in the world are you crying Emma? I thought you would be happy. How many years have you waited for this? He’s finally here. All of that praying you have done paid off. What is there to cry about?”
“I don’t know. I guess even though I was praying I just never thought that I would see him again. I was trusting God to save him, but I guess deep down I was always assuming it would be somewhere else. I never suspected it to be here. I never expected him to show up like this.” She paused long enough to wipe away more tears. “Oh Jaslyn what am I going to do. I don’t know if I can face him. It was so easy to just pray for him when I didn’t have to see him. I guess in a way praying for him just kind of became a habit, maybe I never really expected God to save him.”
“Emma you listen to me. I know how hard you have been praying for this man. I know the hours, the meals, and all of the sacrifices you’ve made for him. You can’t sit here and tell me that it all meant nothing that it was all just in vain. I refuse to believe that and refuse to believe that he’s here by sheer coincidence. He’s here because God heard all of the prayers that were being said for him and I don’t know anyone that has offered more than you. Now as for what you are going to do, you are going to get up from here and stop letting the devil beat you down over this, we’re going to go back in that church, worship God and forget all about Daniel Miller. God has led him here for a reason and there’s nothing that we can do for him except pray so don’t even try to worry yourself about anything because that will accomplish nothing. All we can do now is pray….some more” she said adding the last bit sarcastically on behalf of all of the hours they had already spent doing just that. “Now are you coming or am I going to have to drag you?”
Jaslyn reached over and grabbed Emma’s hand helping her to her feet. “Thank you” she said to her friend while hugging her tight. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”
The girls entered the church hand-in-hand and sat back down in their seats. By the time they had come back Bro. Gene had already begun his sermon and everyone sat quietly intent on hearing what he had to say. Because of this thankfully she could no longer see Daniel through the throngs of people. She knew if she could have seen him, she would have looked over in his direction every few seconds so she thanked God for providing a way to conceal him so she could pay attention to the message.
Church was dismissed and everyone in the building began to rise and leave their seats except Katie, Jaslyn, and Emma. Emma remained because she didn’t really know what to do concerning Daniel. Should I go talk to him, would he think of me as rude if I didn’t? Jaslyn sat and watched Emma wanting her to go talk to Daniel but knowing that in the end she probably wouldn’t, and Katie stood up to leave then realized that neither one of them were and quickly sat back down. “Why are you both just sitting here?” she questioned.
“Do you think I should go talk to him?” asked Emma completely ignoring her question. She glanced back up at him and noticed that he was gathered around the Mathis’ talking with them. He always was close to them for some reason. “No I guess I won’t. I’m hungry where are we eating?” She tried to put on her biggest smile as if nothing was wrong and thankfully, neither of the girls persisted.
They all got up and began to walk out while Jaslyn called back, “I was thinking we could go somewhere kind of nice instead of fast food. After all this is Sunday morning.”
“Wherever Jaslyn, just tell us where and we’ll meet you there.”
“Okay then, Carabba’s it is.”
Emma brightened slightly at this for it was her favorite restaurant and she knew that Jaslyn hadn’t forgotten this when choosing. She was grateful that her friend had done so because now was one time she really needed cheering up. But before she had even left the church she had already that no matter what Daniel Miller did or had done she wasn’t going to let that get in the way, especially not today because it was a rarity that Katie, Jaslyn, and herself were able to get together by themselves so she would not be the reason it was spoiled.
Okay, I know that it’s kind of rough, I’m not finished with it.
this is Part 2 of the story. Part 1 explained about Emma and Daniel, how she won’t date him because he’s not saved, then after she refuses him he leaves for four years, then it picks up where he has just came back.
Please give me your honest and a serious opinion.
It is suppose to be the same Sunday, sorry if it was unclear.
Best answer:
Answer by Read-A-Holic
I thought this was pretty good…. I got a little fuzzy when you said the pastor dismissed sunday school and then the next second they were in the sunday school class room, but other than that, it looked pretty good.
Keep on writing you have a good starting block! After you finish and edit it, it seems like it should be a good read. Good Luck!
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